delight: girl with camera; text "replace fear of the unknown with curiosity" (see you later innovator)
Vague hodgepodge collection. I am nothing if not terrible at updating, but I also enjoy talking into a void so to speak. I did make a new Tumblr account because I have a lot of friends who are only there, but Tumblr is a very scary void. I have an Imzy acount, which I'm loving, but it doesn't seem like the best place for this kind of stuff? I would love recommendations to good Imzy comms, though, if anyone has one! I made /publichealth with my more-comfortable-shared-with-RL pseud (because that's going to get shared with offline people, I'm sure) but so far it is just me spewing news links whenever I see 'em. Totally open to non-PH professionals, though!

Anyway, the rest of my generally-unrelated things:
– School officially started on the 25th, but my first on-campus class is the 29th. I work from 8-4, which requires leaving my house at 6:30, and then have to be on campus by 5. Which means walking over and taking the 3 train, which usually takes about half an hour, and hoping I have time to change out of my scrubs and am not late for my first class of the program ever.

– Hanging out in the hospice, where there's one specific tension-y thing going on but is otherwise okay. My mom just suddenly got the flu (?! though we've seen a couple of cases at work, I guess it's just early this year) so I'm here instead of working. Dad has been unresponsive for about a week, I think. I can't remember the last conversation we had, and I'm actually glad of that because I don't want to focus on it. His blood pressure right now is 79/47. His birthday is tomorrow, so we're hoping he dies tomorrow, because we're horrid people who like symmetry (also he's turning 66) and we also want him to stop hurting.

– I didn't have the flu, but I did have pleurisy and a sinus infection. Now I have this really horrid, disgusting remnant cough but am not actually sick anymore. No symptoms and I feel completely fine ... except that I'm always coughing in front of patients and having to apologize to them and explain I'm not sick.

– Sideline of speaking-of-dad, this happened. We're completely floored. So many people are coming together, and now that is definitely happening.

– Painted my nails for my co-worker's birthday party tonight (also, I have co-workers who invite me to birthday parties? it's a chef's table, very fancy sort of deal, and I'm missing my best eyeshadow brush) and one of my fingernails just broke right off. Like, the entire thing. It's broken past the quick. Poor ugly pinky.

– ... and this post was abruptly interrupted because someone came in the room and brought in a box! And inside the box was a gift from my dad's two closest co-workers, containing a flower arrangement that looks just like the banana creme birthday cake with raspberry frosting they gave him a few years ago. Complete with real rose to mimic the icing rose!
delight: (up the ladder)
("Here" being the hospice, not work. I am not DW posting at work! I couldn't if I wanted to.)

I got myself a year from [personal profile] nanila, who even gave me a year I can mostly recall. I added a question back in that I've seen other people do, though.

Age then: mostly fifteen, turned sixteen toward the end of the year

Age now: twenty-seven, turning twenty-eight relatively soon

Relationship then: fifteen? I was surrounded by high schoolers with crushes they would not shut up about. To this day I've still never experienced a crush; I don't so much understand them, but man was everyone who had one annoying about it. Therefore, I steered super clear of relationships in high school, though I did actually meet the person I'm now with in 2004, I think. It may have been '05. We weren't together for a while after meeting, and if we knew each other in 2004, it wasn't well.

Relationship now: With long-term partner of I think it's going to be ten years this year wow.

Where I lived then: Where I live now, actually, in a Bronx-area house. There have just been a lot of years in between ... I lived there then with both of my parents, two birds who had free reign of the house, a tortoise who never left the living room except to go in the backyard, and a dog who was the master of all couches (there were about five to be master of).

Where I live now: Where I lived then, in a Bronx-area house! I returned in December of 2015. I now live there with my partner and my mother, and the house is always too quiet.

What my job was then: High school student, dog-walker.

What my job is now: Urgent care jack-of-all-trades (patient interviews, basic tests and procedures, clinical documentation maven, also sends prescriptions and fights with pharmacies over the phone, plus being the brunt of angry people's days), graduate student.

Was I happy then: Mostly, no. High school was terrible in every way except that it wasn't quite as bad as middle school (aka the years that I legitimately won't remember if you ask: there's a reason). As always, all of my abuse came from outside the home and there was far too much of it. This wasn't "bullying," this was systematic emotional harassment, physical assault, and also coming from teachers as well as students. My OCD and depression had been diagnosed and were being treated, but the environment was too dangerous.

Am I happy now: Parts of me are. I have a job that I really care about even if it is at times exhausting, thankless and doesn't pay anywhere near enough (whose jobs are not those things). I'm in my dream graduate school. I have a safe living situation and it turns out that my mom is actually a pretty baller housemate as an adult. But of course the center of my universe is dying, just as I've finally broken into his career field, and we were supposed to do things together. That death is at any-minute-now stage. His birthday is tomorrow. He is in a coma, I am watching him breathe. I am not happy for this.


I'm stealing the phrasing also from the person I got the meme from: Ask for a year in comments if you'd like one. If I happen to pick one you're not comfortable writing about, please let me know and I'll choose a different one. Also, if you'd like to give me another year, please do, I find this fun! Though there are a few years I may not remember enough, and I obviously wouldn't fill in the 'now's again.
delight: (Default)
1. Why did you sign up for Dreamwidth?
Okay, so ... to be completely honest I don't remember. I know I was having a lot of accessibility issues with LJ, whose layout changes were starting to cause problems. Somehow I ended up on #dw, and then a few "omg do it"s and a purple sitescheme later, I had an account during closed beta.

2. Why did you choose your journal name?
I've been pseudelight in internet circles for approximately forever, and I wanted to be even more, IDK, iconic or just short. Nowadays I use a different username for many things, anything I'm going to give access to people I may meet from work or school just because there's a lot of things attached to pseudelight that people just won't get. Mostly it's silly original fiction or memberships to odd websites, but I'm just a little paranoid about that kind of thing.

3. Do you crosspost? Why or why not?
I don't, because (as the unpleasant followup to the situation with #1) I can't actually look at LJ anymore; their layout actually gives me some kind of seizure reaction. I think my last crosspost was sometime in 2010. I believe I have maybe one or two friends who still use LJ, but I keep up with them on Twitter.

4. What do you do online when you're not on DW?
I'm very active on Twitter! I have a personal and a professional account; if you want them please poke me somehow, happy to put up links. I log into an AJAX chat for Emperor's Edge fandom sometimes, but since being in a job that gets me home at 11pm I tend to miss my chat peeps a lot. And yes, I still roleplay quite a lot. I'm not actually in any DW-based games, though, which feels weird, but I think none of them have the sort of activity policy and style I can keep up with. Used to do tumblr, but it got too overwhelming; I've been working on setting up a second account but never get around to finishing it.

Continued. )
delight: (Default)
Switching from home hospice to inpatient hospice today to manage pain better, which is a yay! A little bit of a sad yay but still an overall good thing.

The house is going to make getting in and out with a stretcher extremely exciting.

I need to post more.

And I have a meeting at 7 I actually WANT to make, and selfishly hope I can VPN it from the hospital.
delight: (the dawn)
I'm going to make a separate DW, I think, dedicated entirely to the world from this project (which I am still working on) and doing side stories and things with the characters and getting to know the entire world more. I enjoy it, and it seems like a lot of people were interested in it.

So I'm looking for a) anyone who might be interested in reading so I know if I should post the name here somewhere, and also b) if anyone wants to recommend prompt comms. I intend to do [community profile] rainbowfic even though I often have trouble with one-word and/or quotation style prompts. It's brain stretching.

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delight: (Default)
a mouse, not in conformational homeostasis

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