delight: (Default)
I have to write two and a half papers over the course of the next seven hours.

And then five more by 5pm on Friday.

They are only required to be about five pages each, but oh my god, end of the semester, do you want to lay off a little?




(I'm also moving with absolutely no assistance except my partner and basically no funds to do so but we have to, this month is just the biggest catastrophe timewise.)
delight: (crown of pointy spindles)
Non-awkward way of telling professor you've had one class with, "So, my dad is dying of pancreatic cancer -- slowly -- and next class is his birthday, so I won't be here"?

... I'm pretty sure is nonexistent, so I will just be saying that.

Tiny ETA: Some people have left some really interesting comments to me in response to other comments, or just really kind comments, and I haven't gotten back to them because I'm in end of summer term project chaos mode -- I have not forgotten you, if you see this post and wonder. ♥

hello, DW.

Jan. 4th, 2014 12:00 am
delight: (old skool foto)
Just in case anyone was wondering, I am still here, still reading everything everyone posts, I've just had a major epic case of the shys. I guess I recently posted the New Year's meme so people do know I'm around but -- I actually do read my reading list every day!

If I haven't said anything to you or have failed to reply to a comment, it is depression combined with pretty much being scared of people.

Which is also why I haven't ever posted the Chatty December meme or its variants, but if there is anything people want me to talk about ever or have questions of that style, I am always happy to oblige. :)

Most notable thing that I didn't mention: November 4th marked 3 years post-mastectomy for my mom, and 2 years off chemotherapy. Her diagnosis was a "happy birthday" to us both in 2010 -- yeah, they had great timing delivering that news. But this technically counts as year 3 of remission, and with negative tests all around that's doing pretty good for her tumor type and her age.

Just do not talk to me about nursing. I am 300% done with that debacle and don't ever want to talk about it again. I can talk about clinical care still, but only in the context of paramedicine, epidemiology or mental health.
delight: (up the ladder)
Man this fucking experiment I don’t even know how to calm down over having to reject the null hypothesis because of being off by 0.0525.

And yet I know exactly why it came out that way and there is one subject to blame. that one person. whose results were backward of a) the desired results/hypothesis, b) EVERYONE ELSE IN THE STUDY.

Small sample sizes are the bane of my existence.

(I would be less tetchy if it weren’t my third analysis today and all of the hypotheses have failed. At least these are other people’s tests, if this were my own data I would be sobbing right now instead of just epic levels of frustrated. One good thing about being the number runner and not the actual experimenter. The only good thing.)
delight: (sentient electric flower)
Ethics papers: the real reason to have a 30" computer screen.

screenshot )

(Okay, so the real-real reason I got it was a combination of photo editing, the fact that sometimes due to my vision I need to zoom things in really really big or I can't comprehend them, and because I sometimes have people over for watching movies but do not own a TV set ... but this is another major perk.)

Ignore the actual text. It doesn't say that anymore. I was fighting with a single sentence.
delight: (crown of pointy spindles)
Things I did today:
  • Went to the doctor, where not much of import happened but at least it got done
  • Picked up a transcript from my former community college and then drove it to FedEx and paid $32 to overnight it to Chicago

Things I did yesterday:
  • Confirmed registration for two simultaneous school programs in mostly unrelated topics; a medical coding program online that is entirely self-paced so this is possible and I can get back into actually working while working on my other thing: a double major in psychology/public health which may lead to two BS/MS programs.
  • Figured out a thesis for said double major; I had previously had ideas for each separate one, but when my application was confirmed I was told they had to actually both apply. Now I actually have at least a topic area. I don't have an actual solid thesis -- I know what it's going to be about but I don't know what exactly I'm studying, as I have to do a real study and not just a retrospective analysis or a lit review or a theoretical writeup.
  • Bought a refurb laptop because my Mac can't support the coding software and my netbook doesn't have enough RAM; when it arrives I'll get to see if it works
  • Came back upstate, along with my mom and half of my new-old dining room table
  • Slept. Not at night time, I fell asleep at around 5:15 am, but I fell asleep at all.

All of these things are monumentally notable. Even, and possibly especially, the sleep part. I am so excited to be able to do things, even if it is lots of things all at once and it's going to be crazy and cut down on my free time. This is good, because a lot of my free time is actually taken up by other people making demands of me, which I am 200% done with. Now they can't. And now I won't have any idle time to allow myself to sink back into depressive black holes.
delight: (up the ladder)
What feels like totally nuts right now: doing a double major BA/MS at the same time as AHIMA's online coding training*. Plus the pre-med courses I don't actually have as a part of either degree.

What feels like exactly the right thing to be doing with my life: the above.

What I am actually doing: that.

Shockingly, it works out that I actually will have a lot more time to do things I enjoy (like, um, RPing and playing on Flight Rising -- other than that reading psychology and medical texts/news/etc is the primary thing I enjoy and I'll be required to do that) based on how a lot of family stuff that got dumped on me that has been consuming 800% of my time will be summarily removed from my shoulders as I cannot possibly be able to do it. So I can hop back on to Second Pass (I could cry) without issue and actually move on with my life and detach from family baggage as much as humanly possible.

All of this is good. Being able to actually pay the bills would make it all a lot better; despite the fact I should be getting about $4700 in Pell grant, we still have two months of unpaid rent and phone bills. Money is the absolute worst.

(Plus, DW housekeeping -- mostly for my own mental health, so I don't look back in my journal and end up upset like I did last night -- is really exhausting without paid time. DELETE/PRIVATE ONE ENTRY AT A TIME FOREVER. At least I have something to do while I wait for people to get home? I don't have enough online time to do anything else. I'd rather just delete EVERYTHING after making an archive, but I don't think I actually can.) (DW housekeeping is done, because [personal profile] finch is AWESOME.)


* Not that I have any idea if a CCA alone is enough to get any sort of work at all, but I can hope it is, since I can't go straight to the CCS without more experience based on exam requirements.
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