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it happened a while ago, but i just found out.
maguy–"it's marguerite, not margaret; called maguy, not maggie" (both were up to her parents but she was preferential toward their choice of nickname)–had the worst epilepsy i had ever seen when we met at summer camp at 12.
she was not allowed to swim and i had just won a swimming competition.
we were both epileptic but i was controlled and she wasn't
she was not at ALL mean to me. two years older, most popular girl at sick kid camp. "what's the water like? i'm not allowed"
today i learned this idiot who i loved so much went fishing by herself (not sure, because her husband actually passed from covid and her sister's contact info isn't what i last had, and the friend group all know what the rest of us knows about this, if she was ever told she was allowed to swim, or learned to swim, kind of a prereq for being in a boat alone)
had a seizure. drowned.
my whole brain is screaming *but you're not allowed in the water. we wouldn't be friends if you were allowed in the water. I always had to tell you about it, stupid.* but i am also kind of not surprised by any of this because here is the thing about maguy: she didn't feel fear.
(she was absolutely a stereotype, a manic pixie dream girl embodiment, and mocked for it lovingly by the group: this brightly ginger haired, beautiful disaster girl who was always doing wild things)
i mean this literally, due to brain damage as a baby (which also caused or was caused by her epilepsy and autism, chicken egg etc) she never felt afraid once in her life. she did all sorts of defiant stupid things because she thought it was funny. "Oh i am going to die," she would say putting a foot in the water, and then would get yelled at. she pushed limits like that CONSTANTLY. it was a known thing that she just didn't feel fear and could only learn to rationally mind that things could hurt her, but she also loved an adrenaline rush. harder for her to experience them than most people, so she tried to find just a little trouble.
idiot, i am not surprised you didn't see 40.
but she was an amazing person, so i am glad to have known her! but right now i am also very pissed at her. the end.
she was not allowed to swim and i had just won a swimming competition.
we were both epileptic but i was controlled and she wasn't
she was not at ALL mean to me. two years older, most popular girl at sick kid camp. "what's the water like? i'm not allowed"
today i learned this idiot who i loved so much went fishing by herself (not sure, because her husband actually passed from covid and her sister's contact info isn't what i last had, and the friend group all know what the rest of us knows about this, if she was ever told she was allowed to swim, or learned to swim, kind of a prereq for being in a boat alone)
had a seizure. drowned.
my whole brain is screaming *but you're not allowed in the water. we wouldn't be friends if you were allowed in the water. I always had to tell you about it, stupid.* but i am also kind of not surprised by any of this because here is the thing about maguy: she didn't feel fear.
(she was absolutely a stereotype, a manic pixie dream girl embodiment, and mocked for it lovingly by the group: this brightly ginger haired, beautiful disaster girl who was always doing wild things)
i mean this literally, due to brain damage as a baby (which also caused or was caused by her epilepsy and autism, chicken egg etc) she never felt afraid once in her life. she did all sorts of defiant stupid things because she thought it was funny. "Oh i am going to die," she would say putting a foot in the water, and then would get yelled at. she pushed limits like that CONSTANTLY. it was a known thing that she just didn't feel fear and could only learn to rationally mind that things could hurt her, but she also loved an adrenaline rush. harder for her to experience them than most people, so she tried to find just a little trouble.
idiot, i am not surprised you didn't see 40.
but she was an amazing person, so i am glad to have known her! but right now i am also very pissed at her. the end.