delight | Entries tagged with future functional professional (sph)

Well, I have 46.1% of my edits made, and three visualizations that aren't complete disasters (talk to me about how it took over an hour to make a circle! or maybe don't) and I'm really tired of it. It's due tomorrow night and I want to stop looking at it.

Today also included:

– Taking Trip to CGC class which resulted in him also managing to eat a hot dog and a very very little bit of ice cream in his own bowl. Carvel has a dog size.

– Being dared to submit something to Clarkesworld, and realizing I have nothing that meets the parameters, so trying to figure out if I should write something new or not? The dare had monetary parts. My usual fiction editor (btw if you need an editor, she's taking more clients, actually legitimately talk to me about that one) is down to try it out.

– Keeping the dog out of the house for the entire time it was being worked on so that he didn't do his scaredy-dog thing where he sat in a corner and growled.

– Not melting to death, but only barely.

ETA: Searching for stickers on Redbubble for my grant notebook and ... why are all the kitsune one-tailed? I need a(n obvious) kitsune for this thing, not just a fox. Nothing against just-foxes.

Google Data Studio, I really need those names of pages to be full-length and I do not understand why you absolutely refuse to cooperate with me. Since I can't print out the live data and put it on the hard copy of the paper, you need to show all the information so I can screenshot you ... not this.

( evidence of the crime. )

1. I quit my job without anything lined up because of reasons; my last day is the 20th. I rather abruptly got an interview for a position I'd love managing a SAMHSA grant for behavioral health integration ... this is on Tuesday, but it asks for such complex Excel skills (and they have told me there will be a test) that I'm very nervous. I also don't know how an Excel test would work, exactly, so I'm nervous about misunderstanding the question too.

The pay is not that great, but the program itself is pretty great, and that's kind of what you get with public sector. Which is what I want, anyway. I just hope it's good enough I can afford to live somewhere.

2. I STILL haven't gotten my thesis back from committee; it's a week late. I did do my presentation and have no idea how well I did.

3. We got Trip a shock-absorbent leash so while he's still Sir Pullsalotnoreallytoomuch, my hands aren't falling off. It's surprisingly effective.

Bonus 4. I still SERIOUSLY suck at commenting, but I read every single entry that goes by my eyes. I look at my reading page every day. I'm constantly starved for content I care about, so I never miss anything.

The most satisfying thing about a graduate thesis: when I'm writing up my own data, I don't have to cite a damn thing, because I'm looking at my own analytics and writing up what I'm looking at. My stuff is the primary source.

Yes, citations do give me that much stress.

I have no energy, so I'm just going to Cliff's notes version this out:

1. My gallbladder ruptured. I was in the hospital from the 18th until the 23rd, and just got off essentially bedrest two days ago. I've had no history of gallbladder issues ever in my life and am abnormally young (not that I'm actually young, so much as that anything under 45 is abnormally young); however, it ended up leading us down a trail that gave us some idea of how my World's Healthiest Man dad got terminal pancreatic cancer.

2. It is the end of the semester and I'm dying of deadlines. I have a couple of professors who want to murder me for my absences and how long it took me to go "yeah, I'm not actually ready to present today, can I go next week?" but they're also letting me go next week.

3. Since of course I'm back at work and school, now Trip has kennel cough and has to be kept home (he was boarded while I was in the hospital, and yes he's current on all his shots but there are a lot of kinds of kennel cough). When there's nobody home during the day because I'm back at work/school. I have today off during the day and tomorrow off full stop, but the next 7 days are going to be difficult ...

4. I'm getting so frustrated with how physically and emotionally wearying my job is that I'm considering quitting without something else lined up. My meds are $1800 a month and I have to support a dog and I only have $4k in savings. So this isn't that feasible, but oh man do I want it. I have to write a thesis that needs to be done by May and I just want to write/research full time. Or at least have a job where any day I work isn't a day where I can't do any of it and have to just come home and sleep because of pain and cognitive fatigue.

5. Someone hacked my VPS with Dreamhost, they've sent me a bunch of emails. How the fuck even. All my sites are down.

This assignment is driving me up the wall. It's taking forever to finish, I have abbreviations in my notes I can't remember what they mean, and I want to be done writing medical journal critiques so I can move on with my life to end-of-semester projects I care about more.

Like the 20 page one that i now have a day and a half to write because of this one.

I work great under pressure, don't get me wrong, but this is incredibly frustrating. Especially when I have inadequate brain meds because of my inability to get a psychiatrist appointment. Which is not the same thing as getting a psychiatrist -- technically, I belong to a clinic, but their hours and my hours don't correspond so whenever they have the appointment line open I can't call.

I'm utterly exhausted by the full time work/full time school/then writing shit for fun dance, so I never have anything to actually say.

( So here's the view from where I'm sitting, literally. )

Vague hodgepodge collection. I am nothing if not terrible at updating, but I also enjoy talking into a void so to speak. I did make a new Tumblr account because I have a lot of friends who are only there, but Tumblr is a very scary void. I have an Imzy acount, which I'm loving, but it doesn't seem like the best place for this kind of stuff? I would love recommendations to good Imzy comms, though, if anyone has one! I made /publichealth with my more-comfortable-shared-with-RL pseud (because that's going to get shared with offline people, I'm sure) but so far it is just me spewing news links whenever I see 'em. Totally open to non-PH professionals, though!

Anyway, the rest of my generally-unrelated things:
– School officially started on the 25th, but my first on-campus class is the 29th. I work from 8-4, which requires leaving my house at 6:30, and then have to be on campus by 5. Which means walking over and taking the 3 train, which usually takes about half an hour, and hoping I have time to change out of my scrubs and am not late for my first class of the program ever.

– Hanging out in the hospice, where there's one specific tension-y thing going on but is otherwise okay. My mom just suddenly got the flu (?! though we've seen a couple of cases at work, I guess it's just early this year) so I'm here instead of working. Dad has been unresponsive for about a week, I think. I can't remember the last conversation we had, and I'm actually glad of that because I don't want to focus on it. His blood pressure right now is 79/47. His birthday is tomorrow, so we're hoping he dies tomorrow, because we're horrid people who like symmetry (also he's turning 66) and we also want him to stop hurting.

– I didn't have the flu, but I did have pleurisy and a sinus infection. Now I have this really horrid, disgusting remnant cough but am not actually sick anymore. No symptoms and I feel completely fine ... except that I'm always coughing in front of patients and having to apologize to them and explain I'm not sick.

– Sideline of speaking-of-dad, this happened. We're completely floored. So many people are coming together, and now that is definitely happening.

– Painted my nails for my co-worker's birthday party tonight (also, I have co-workers who invite me to birthday parties? it's a chef's table, very fancy sort of deal, and I'm missing my best eyeshadow brush) and one of my fingernails just broke right off. Like, the entire thing. It's broken past the quick. Poor ugly pinky.

– ... and this post was abruptly interrupted because someone came in the room and brought in a box! And inside the box was a gift from my dad's two closest co-workers, containing a flower arrangement that looks just like the banana creme birthday cake with raspberry frosting they gave him a few years ago. Complete with real rose to mimic the icing rose!

sketches & ghosts

partially parented by parrots.

Entries tagged with future functional professional (sph)

I can't wait to shut up about this paper

More research woes.

Three things, making a post

(no subject)

IT'S BEEN SOME DAYS.

(no subject)

I keep wanting to post.

Other, non-meme things.

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