sketches & ghosts

I have to write two and a half papers over the course of the next seven hours.

And then five more by 5pm on Friday.

They are only required to be about five pages each, but oh my god, end of the semester, do you want to lay off a little?




(I'm also moving with absolutely no assistance except my partner and basically no funds to do so but we have to, this month is just the biggest catastrophe timewise.)

Just in case anyone was wondering, I am still here, still reading everything everyone posts, I've just had a major epic case of the shys. I guess I recently posted the New Year's meme so people do know I'm around but -- I actually do read my reading list every day!

If I haven't said anything to you or have failed to reply to a comment, it is depression combined with pretty much being scared of people.

Which is also why I haven't ever posted the Chatty December meme or its variants, but if there is anything people want me to talk about ever or have questions of that style, I am always happy to oblige. :)

Most notable thing that I didn't mention: November 4th marked 3 years post-mastectomy for my mom, and 2 years off chemotherapy. Her diagnosis was a "happy birthday" to us both in 2010 -- yeah, they had great timing delivering that news. But this technically counts as year 3 of remission, and with negative tests all around that's doing pretty good for her tumor type and her age.

Just do not talk to me about nursing. I am 300% done with that debacle and don't ever want to talk about it again. I can talk about clinical care still, but only in the context of paramedicine, epidemiology or mental health.

Ethics papers: the real reason to have a 30" computer screen.

( screenshot )

(Okay, so the real-real reason I got it was a combination of photo editing, the fact that sometimes due to my vision I need to zoom things in really really big or I can't comprehend them, and because I sometimes have people over for watching movies but do not own a TV set ... but this is another major perk.)

Ignore the actual text. It doesn't say that anymore. I was fighting with a single sentence.

What feels like totally nuts right now: doing a double major BA/MS at the same time as AHIMA's online coding training^*. Plus the pre-med courses I don't actually have as a part of either degree.

What feels like exactly the right thing to be doing with my life: the above.

What I am actually doing: that.

Shockingly, it works out that I actually will have a lot more time to do things I enjoy (like, um, RPing and playing on Flight Rising -- other than that reading psychology and medical texts/news/etc is the primary thing I enjoy and I'll be required to do that) based on how a lot of family stuff that got dumped on me that has been consuming 800% of my time will be summarily removed from my shoulders as I cannot possibly be able to do it. So I can hop back on to Second Pass (I could cry) without issue and actually move on with my life and detach from family baggage as much as humanly possible.

All of this is good. Being able to actually pay the bills would make it all a lot better; despite the fact I should be getting about $4700 in Pell grant, we still have two months of unpaid rent and phone bills. Money is the absolute worst.

(Plus, DW housekeeping -- mostly for my own mental health, so I don't look back in my journal and end up upset like I did last night -- is really exhausting without paid time. DELETE/PRIVATE ONE ENTRY AT A TIME FOREVER. At least I have something to do while I wait for people to get home? I don't have enough online time to do anything else. I'd rather just delete EVERYTHING after making an archive, but I don't think I actually can.) (DW housekeeping is done, because finch is AWESOME.)


* Not that I have any idea if a CCA alone is enough to get any sort of work at all, but I can hope it is, since I can't go straight to the CCS without more experience based on exam requirements.